Niko Gadson stood before his prom date's door. As he rang the golden doorbell of the illustrious mansion, beads of sweat gathered on his forehead and wetted the collar of his dress shirt. If the fountain with peeing cherubims and the new Apollo 600 Vette didn't make him nervous, the massive stone doors being opened by a Marodomo butler definitely did.
Marodomos were the servants of the gods. They glowed with an almost blinding light that took several minutes for the eyes to adjust. There was nothing magical about them. They were simple humans like Niko but their heads were so bald and polished that it was as if you were staring directly into the sun when you met one.
"The god Herald and goddess Delight are not interested in what you are selling. If you continue to loiter the police will be called."
Niko squinted through the blinding light given off by the bald man's head and said, "I'm sorry sir.” After a look of confusion from the butler Niko continued. “I'm here for Serenity? I'm her date for prom." Niko gave a weak smile and proffered up the flowers he was holding. They drooped almost as low as the butler’s lips.
The butler's frown deepened, and as his eyes slithered down Niko's body, his expression went from annoyed to outright disgust. Niko was not bad looking, per se, but when you're constantly in the company of the gods, no human physique can compare.
"Oh," he said as he closed the door in Niko's face.
_______
The goddess Serenity frantically patted her face and rushed in and out of the bathroom half-dressed. “Mom! Mom! He came early! You said he’d be late! Oh, by us, I barely have my foundation on!”
“It will be fine dear,” Delight said with a gentle smile. Like her daughter, she was wearing little more than a sheer nightgown. She slightly moved the glistening silk curtains to see the boy and said in a breathy voice, “Aww, and he brought flowers. Never Dies I think! Such a sweet boy. Wouldn’t you agree, Herald?”
Herald sat at the pure marble table reading an Alopex News Newspaper with the headline Dog Found With Three Heads: Owner Thrilled! Behind the newspaper, Herald said, his voice grumbling, “Let it be known that he comes early. Typical for a human I guess.” He straightened the newspaper and took a puff of his pipe.
"Dad!"
"Herald!" His daughter and wife said in unison. Serenity's face flushed with embarrassment.
Herald chuckled and said, “ And those aren’t Never Die flowers. The colour isn’t right. Probably some knockoff. Don’t worry about him being here so soon, I’ll go and give him ‘the dad talk.’” His wife and daughter tried to stop him, but he was the Herald of the gods and in turn, was the fastest. He zipped away from his newspaper like lightning, to the front door, and as he opened the door, the gust of wind made all but one of Niko’s flowers fly from the bouquet and into the boy's face.
Herald’s eyes scanned the boy for flaws, and he found many. The boy's posture was pitiful, he didn’t bow when Herald came to the door. Didn’t they teach proper manners in mixed schools anymore? The boy did not even bring a slayed monster’s corpse for his perfect daughter. The gall of this kid.
“What’s your name again?”
“Uh, Niko. Sir,” the boy said confused, like he didn’t even know his name. Herald would use that.
“Alright Nick, for some silly reason my daughter thinks that she needs to work to look nice for you. So we are going to have a little chat outside here in the garden while she frantically does so. I can’t kill you like the good old days so I will make sure beforehand that you know that I do not believe you are worthy to date my daughter, and I wholeheartedly believe by the gods ourselves that you stand no chance with her in any way. I also believe that you are simply a passing fancy that she will rightly kick to the curb after she quickly sees the inadequacies I have already seen. I am saying this you know that
I, Herald of the gods, the fastest and one of the most powerful gods in the pantheon do not like you. Do you understand?”
The boy’s first reaction was shock, then anger, then... was that determination on his face. Oh, now this would be good.
“I do,” Niko said as he stared unblinkingly into Herald’s own. Yes, determination it was.
________
Niko stared into the god's eyes for what felt like an eternity until Herald said, “Then let’s go,” with a smile that irritated Niko to no end. The man wouldn’t even give him a chance to impress him, but Serenity had warned him about her protective father. He would start by demining him by never calling him by his correct name.
Then, he would use confusing questions to put Niko off balance and twist Niko’s answers to his advantage “So Nolan,” Herald said. “What’s your opinion on god and human relations? All of you seem to have one.”
Niko took a deep breath and answered, “My opinion is very similar to your own.” The god let a small amount of surprise show on his face to that response.
_________
The response was not what Herald had expected. So this boy knew his way around politics. Interesting. "So you know of my actions in the pantheon of gods? So you agree with my veto of the bill that would allow humans on the council of gods? Clearly, you don't believe that humans deserve less power in the government even though you only live a third as long and thus have less experience to rule."
"And neither do you," the boy interjected. You may have vetoed the allowance of humans on the council, but you have also voted for the unification of the council of gods and the council of man on three separate occasions giving both sides equal say in how taxed coins are used. You vetoed the allowance of humans on the council of gods as it was a farce for only gods can vote for officials on said council. Allowing that Bill to pass would have simply led to a quelling of unrest in humans that would have changed nothing of the status quo."
A debate? Herald had not expected that. This Niko had done his homework well. Herald was almost impressed and strangely excited to have a proper conversation with one of Senity's dates. Her previous two "boyfriends" may have been gods, but even though they were born with a shining golden spoon in their mouths, they were remarkably dull.
"So Norman?" Herald said, "You rightfully have opinions of your own on this topic. Tell me, how do you go about convincing an entire council of old gods whose only interaction with the humans they rule is a small fling here and there to make a demi-god?"
_________
The butler, head beaming with light, that Niko saw earlier was standing at the gate that opened to the garden. He bowed low as Herald entered. He made sure not to bow as Niko passed through. The garden was fabulous. Acres of beautiful flowers and trees to admire. The smell of honey whiffed through the air as the sound of happy buzzing bees flew overhead. Every color imaginable was present in the garden. It even felt as if they were entering a greenhouse and the temperature slightly increased. Niko looked to his last drooping flower but held it close like it was his last hope.
Niko snapped back into reality remembering the question Herald asked. Niko had been trained for this type of question. “There are, unfortunately, no easy solutions to the god and human problem.”
“Really?” Herald interrupted. “No easy solutions?”
It was clearly a bait, but Niko saw no reason to drag it out longer than he needed to. “The obvious solution is to give everyone an equal vote on all issues in the house of gods and of man. In fact, the simplest solution would be to make the votes in the councils evenly divided in accordance with population. This will never happen though...”
“Because gods are unwilling to give up their power,” Herald finished. He sighed at the answer. “I look at all I have here with this beautiful garden and beautiful house and wonderful family, and sometimes forget that it was all made for me for free 400 years ago.” Herald pulled a few flowers from the garden and filled Niko’s vase. “Thank you for being honest with me Niko. That is one quality that most men, god or human, do not have. I stand by what I said about my daughter and myself, but I will say this. You have impressed me today.”
Niko was shocked at the quick response. It was that easy? All he had to do was be honest with the man. They walked back to the house, Serenity looked as lovely as ever. Both their cheeks flushed red with nerves. Delight took the flowers and put them on the wooden carved kitchen table, as Serenity and Niko went off to prom.
_________
“Finally, a son from a human that is worth a damn,” Zeus, King of the gods, said as he looked through the small camera implanted in the flower that his son brought to his political rival's house.
“Stage one is complete Father,” he heard come from the speakers. He clicked a small red button on his desk and spoke into a microphone.
“Wonderfully done son, now we move onto stage two. The assassination of the Goddess Serenity.”